Bill and Dianne after they took their vows!

I felt completely blessed to be a part of this wedding a few evenings ago. The Bride and Groom are both approaching 80 years of age. They both, along with their supportive family members, completely inspired me! They are SO in love! As I watched the family take photos after the ceremony, my heart was nearly bursting open with a sense of how today is truly a gift. Here is a passage from the ceremony I composed:

“As a couple, you feel a common chord connecting you, about doing the best with what you have and being thankful for every day you are given. You quickly felt a natural connection this way, in your philosophies of life and living based on many rich experiences. For all that you have experienced, however, you do not dwell in the past. You are VERY present right now, right here, today. A gift for which you are so grateful.”

Summer evening at DeGrazia Chapel in Tucson, AZ

The Groom was one of the original lithographers for the artist Ted DeGrazia. It was fitting to have the wedding in the DeGrazia Chapel, at the Gallery of the Sun. We timed the ceremony to be held at sunset, as the couple is in their precious sunset years of life. It was simply beautiful! Afterward, we even had a graceful bat or two swoop into the Chapel, which is open to the sky above.

I am so thankful to be doing this work when I serve families in these deeply memorable moments. There were tears and laughter and such good stories. When I walked up the path to my house later that night, I saw a huge bursting star fall, with a long shimmering tail. The perfect footnote to an evening that felt so full of stardust already!

In Gratefulness,

Kristine

I usually define myself by what I am, rather than what I am not. For example, a generous listener, a creative Wedding Celebrant, an energetic weaver of ceremonies. Yet in response to this story about a robot officiating a wedding in Japan, I simply cannot help myself and must state:

I am not and never will be a robotic officiant.

There, got that out. I need to add though, how I LOVE the way this lovely couple chose to make their ceremony such a unique reflection of themselves. Since the robotics industry brought them together, I think the scenario is brilliantly clever and fun.

;-*D

Kristine

Tomorrow night I am leading a wedding ceremony for a couple. They are bright, energetic, hard working, hilarious and so loving toward each other. They have been together seven years and want to publicly commit their lives to each other, with a community of friends and family encircling them in love.

After the ceremony however, I won’t be filing a marriage license. The State of Arizona will not recognize their joining because this couple is gay. In the ceremony, we acknowledge how “their love is BIGGER than social rules” and hope how someday they will find legal recognition in addition to social recognition of their commitment to each other.

Here is an excerpt from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state. I keep it nearby when I write ceremonies for same-sex couples, to be inspired or to insert pieces of it.

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.”

I love that phrase, “it (civil marriage) fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven and connection that express our common humanity” because regardless of belief systems, isn’t that something we might all agree we share?

With Love,

Kristine

Yes, February is right around the corner. Valentine’s Day is nearly here. The cupids are selecting their arrows and fine tuning their bows.  If you enjoy the romantic spirit of this holiday, perhaps you are planning something special for you and your beloved. Ever considered holding your wedding or renewing your vows that day?

1883 advertisement for a greeting card company featuring several cherubs.

I will volunteer my time and creativity by composing and leading non-denominational weddings at the Tucson Botanical Gardens this Valentine’s Day. I volunteered last year as well, completely enjoying a momentous day filled with 12 weddings! (Three of us shared the task of officiating – one woman led ceremonies in Spanish.)

The Garden is a beautiful and relaxed setting for an informal party to celebrate a couple in love. Last year, I married two couples who were blending families. As I like to do at Sweetgrass, their children participated in the ceremonies. The intimate setting and participation of children, extended family or friends combine to create an especially meaningful day for a couple and their guests.

For more information about Valentine’s wedding packages and how to register, please contact the event organizer at 520.622.0252.

With love,

Kristine

Alright. Wow. Can you even believe that we have entered December already? If you are sensing time clicking by all too rapidly, would you like to slow down a bit?  Maybe enjoy something a little different this month? If so, consider crafting a simple Winter Solstice celebration. You have plenty of time to gather ideas.  Solstice falls upon Monday, December 21st this year.

It may be an enjoyable observance to hold alone, with friends, family or a big circle of folks. I help members of my community celebrate the turning of the seasons by co-creating equinox and solstice ceremonies. Winter – with it’s potential quietude, qualities of inner light and promise ahead – is one of my most savored turnings. I like how this excerpt from my We’Moon calendar inspires me for our celebration this year:

“Like the dark of the Moon each month, Winter Solstice represents not only the pitch black of night, but also a seed of something that will unfold in the coming year. . . light a single candle and celebrate that in this month of ultimate darkness, the light – as always – is born again.” ~ Vicki Noble

Candles hand-crafted for a Winter Solstice celebration.

The inner light we carry through those long winter nights is easily symbolized with candles. A couple of years ago for our community Winter Solstice celebration, we made these candles out of re-used jars, colorful tissue paper and glue mixed with water. So simple!

We had a blast and made a complete mess while crafting them. For the crisp evening ceremony, we dangled the candles from short tree branches (they are too hot to have hands directly holding them.) We each lit our candle, named our intentions for the light we held within, then walked our stone labyrinth by candle light with intentions in mind. What a beautiful sight for everyone to absorb. (To me it looked like big, glorious, colorful fireflies magically appeared in winter to try out our labyrinth!)

An article I read yesterday in Chicago’s hip new publication Mindful Metropolis triggered me to write this post. In it you’ll find creative ways to celebrate Winter Solstice that are fun and family friendly, too. Please share any ideas you have for observing solstice here. I always welcome your stories!

Cheers to how delicious it can feel to slow down and hold a simple observance!

With love and warmth,

Kristine

gratitude – love – miracle – precious
These are a few of Marie’s own words, used to describe her transition into motherhood. They also formed a basis for the feeling of her Mother Blessing Ceremony, held last weekend with a circle of close friends, at her favorite beach.

Marie on a reflective walk before her ceremony

Marie has taken on the courageous work of becoming pregnant with her entire heart and soul. Her ceremony then, had to be incredible, like her. The small circle of us who experienced it together became transformed in the afternoon light. We read meaningful poetry, shared our mothers’ wisdom, shared our own sincerest wishes for her as she completes her pregnancy and gives birth and then shared hot tea plus some symbolic food, too!

Here is an excerpt from my spoken words:

“This ceremony upholds an old tradition of reverence for the sacred in motherhood, loosely based on the Navajo Blessingway. For centuries, women have nurtured, blessed, supported and assisted each other through the transition from maidenhood to motherhood. In our western ways today, we tend to get very caught up in the medical and commercial aspects of pregnancy, getting lost in the shuffle of doctor appointments and baby showers with people we hardly know.

Today we step out of that white noise. We leave behind the distractions. We are here to support and love you, Marie. And we stand in complete wonder of the miracle that you and your baby boy truly are.”

Kristine blesses Marie with sandalwood oil

And step out of the ordinary shuffle we did! With seals poking their heads above water to visit us, herons flying past and the pleasure of each others presence, we savored every moment. I burned sage and smudged Marie to help her release whatever she felt was not serving her highest good as she carries her baby. We celebrated Marie with a couple of songs – one to especially call on the presence of Goddess Kuan Yin – known for her compassionate care for mothers and children. We presented symbolic beads to Marie for her birthing necklace, explaining the meanings one at a time. Then we closed with a special circle activity and an oil blessing to help Marie stay centered in her daily living as she becomes a mother.

After having experienced some fear in her journey to conceive and the early weeks of pregnancy, she said this ceremony truly helped her “release my anxiety and step into really feeling joyful about being pregnant.”

A Mother Blessing Ceremony may serve highly individualized purposes for many women. This outcome for Marie is better than any I could have anticipated for her. I send you heartfelt congratulations Marie, and my sincerest wishes for your continued joy in this amazing phase of your life.

Morning after the ceremony, modeling her birth necklace!

Still feeling in awe of a joyful ceremony,

Kristine

Here is a public ritual full of creative expression and participation! I’m posting just a few photos I took during the Tucson All Souls Procession 2009. This phrase from the All Souls website helps sum up what I will feebly attempt to convey here:

“The Procession is a sanctuary for community members from all walks of life to express their grief and loss in a celebration of creative energy and a rejoicing of living.”

The wings of this bat bike flapped when he pedaled!

What I most relish in during this event is the spirit of calm respect. It emanates from everyone. People line the streets for the whole two-mile route, often five rows deep. It is a ritual we observe annually in Tucson, thanks to founder Susan Johnson and the hundreds of volunteers that sustain it.

An occasional sly sense of humor peeks out, too. Either through outfits or music (the kazoo troupe!) or modes of transit like the neon-lit bat cycle. Don’t you think we need some humor, to help us see death as less of a rigid and untouchable topic? With reasonable doses of humor, remembering our dead may become more a part of our living.

I am also moved by the deep reverence many people exhibit, who walk in devotion to whomever they grieve. People wear photos with names and dates, carry decorative banners with photos and messages, or whole series of photos in lantern light boxes. Many people this year walked in memory of Macho B, the last known jaguar in the U.S., who died earlier this year.

When you walk the procession, you mingle with dancers, drummers, dancers, bagpipers, singers, stilt-walkers, children, animal companions, people in wheelchairs and the elderly. Everyone walks in a slow sense of remembrance.

Cats and dogs are remembered, too.

I was on the move the whole time and only snapped a few pictures. There is such a delicious visual feast, plus what the other senses can drink in, too! Walking through clouds of incense, people chanting and the surreal make-up artistry gives me an amazing sense of being ALIVE. Quite a paradox, really!

For the finale, everyone assembles in a huge open lot to see the burning of the urn. This giant urn is wheeled along at the front of the procession. It captures participants’ written prayers and wishes, for their ancestors or for any being whom they mourn. A crane dramatically lifts the urn while fire dancers light it from underneath during a choreographed climax. We folks on the ground remain peaceful and cheer for the sense of completion! It is amazing to witness.

Burning of the Urn!

MY GRATITUDE GOES OUT TO EVERYONE WHO HAS MADE THIS RITUAL POSSIBLE IN OUR COMMUNITY FOR THE PAST TWENTY YEARS!

I look forward to many more years to come. . .

If you are reading this and want to come join us next year, let me know! We’ll have a party beforehand and walk together.

With Love,

Kristine