Bill and Dianne after they took their vows!

I felt completely blessed to be a part of this wedding a few evenings ago. The Bride and Groom are both approaching 80 years of age. They both, along with their supportive family members, completely inspired me! They are SO in love! As I watched the family take photos after the ceremony, my heart was nearly bursting open with a sense of how today is truly a gift. Here is a passage from the ceremony I composed:

“As a couple, you feel a common chord connecting you, about doing the best with what you have and being thankful for every day you are given. You quickly felt a natural connection this way, in your philosophies of life and living based on many rich experiences. For all that you have experienced, however, you do not dwell in the past. You are VERY present right now, right here, today. A gift for which you are so grateful.”

Summer evening at DeGrazia Chapel in Tucson, AZ

The Groom was one of the original lithographers for the artist Ted DeGrazia. It was fitting to have the wedding in the DeGrazia Chapel, at the Gallery of the Sun. We timed the ceremony to be held at sunset, as the couple is in their precious sunset years of life. It was simply beautiful! Afterward, we even had a graceful bat or two swoop into the Chapel, which is open to the sky above.

I am so thankful to be doing this work when I serve families in these deeply memorable moments. There were tears and laughter and such good stories. When I walked up the path to my house later that night, I saw a huge bursting star fall, with a long shimmering tail. The perfect footnote to an evening that felt so full of stardust already!

In Gratefulness,

Kristine

This week is shaping up to have a theme at Sweetgrass: weddings later in life. And I adore it! In one day I met with two mature couples about creating their wedding ceremonies. One set is in their 50’s and the other in their late 70’s. They both spoke of how well they know themselves and really know they are in love. Big love. No waiting around and lingering to over-think it. They are joining in marriage.

All four individuals have had prior marriages. One bride in particular said when she planned her first wedding, she didn’t focus on the ceremony. She regrets it. She realizes she was too young and obsessed with other details anyway (read: big hair, big dress and so on.)

Today there is an opportunity to dramatically change that approach. To her, the ceremony is the most important piece now. (I am cheering when she says this, because that is music to my Celebrant ears!) Together, we will craft a heartfelt and original wedding. A lively celebration of not only themselves, yet their adult children and surrounding communities, too. A chance to recognize how intertwined their lives are, plus how much they appreciate each other.

The nearly 80 year young bride shared this little tidbit with me, that I want to pass along:

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow a mystery.

Today is a gift.

So, she said, “don’t wait, love now! Act on the gift that is today!”

Happily humbled by this work,

Kristine

Tomorrow night I am leading a wedding ceremony for a couple. They are bright, energetic, hard working, hilarious and so loving toward each other. They have been together seven years and want to publicly commit their lives to each other, with a community of friends and family encircling them in love.

After the ceremony however, I won’t be filing a marriage license. The State of Arizona will not recognize their joining because this couple is gay. In the ceremony, we acknowledge how “their love is BIGGER than social rules” and hope how someday they will find legal recognition in addition to social recognition of their commitment to each other.

Here is an excerpt from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state. I keep it nearby when I write ceremonies for same-sex couples, to be inspired or to insert pieces of it.

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.”

I love that phrase, “it (civil marriage) fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven and connection that express our common humanity” because regardless of belief systems, isn’t that something we might all agree we share?

With Love,

Kristine

My heartfelt congratulations goes to the founder and board of directors for launching this organization. I hope their inspiring work brings MANY rays of light into countless couples’ lives across the U.S.! Wish Upon a Wedding grants wedding or civil union ceremony wishes for people who face terminal illness. Here is a little thumbnail about the when and where of it:

“Officially launched in January of 2010, Wish Upon a Wedding currently has five chapters to serve Wish Applicants. Beginning February 14, couples residing in or wishing to get married within 300 miles of the following cities are eligible to apply for weddings: San Francisco, Los Angeles, Orlando, New York and Chicago.”

I just submitted my application to be a Wish Granter and officiate ceremonies in Arizona – so I may help WUW accomplish their mission across the southwest, too! As a hospice volunteer in Tucson – and a Life Cycle Celebrant who has a passion for acknowledging milestones during our lives from birth to death – this kind of work feels like  a very comfortable fit!

I am looking forward to staying tuned in, hearing uplifting stories and hopefully serving as a wish granter when an opportunity presents itself.

Much Love,

Kristine

Rarely does a story capture such a wide range of emotions.

A seven year old boy named Asa died last Friday in New York, after a car accident. His parents departed from the norm, and wed at his funeral. During Asa’s life, he asked many times for them to make their union official with marriage. They told him they would, yet felt it was “superficial and not necessary”. Somehow, they were moved to become married in Asa’s honor, after his death.

At first, this feels a little shocking to read and hear. Yet I read the full article and watched the video a couple of times. I watched the healing swells of grief and love in peoples’ stories, tears, music and laughter. I sent the family my wishes for healthy grieving and peace in their hearts. Asa shines so brightly in the photos, it seems his all too brief presence will touch countless lives.

For me, this story vividly conveys the cathartic power of personalized ceremony.  Plus, the video illustrates how ceremony may pull community members together, as they collectively bear witness to living, loving and dying. Here is the CNN clip: NY Parent\’s honor son\’s wish

If you take a look at this, I am curious to hear your thoughts.

In love,

Kristine