Are you going down the wedding aisle in DIY style? Fearless. Creative. Fantastic! And absolutely doable. I see quite a few do-it-yourself couples in Southern Arizona, planning and preparing their own weddings with verve. I love to work beside these creatives who live and play with gusto.

During my ceremony services, I find myself in a wide range of settings: from hike-in weddings atop Mount Lemmon to intimate home garden weddings to lavish all-out parties with 200 guests at high-profile venues. I enjoy every kind, because I get to see my clients manifest their own visions for their celebration.

I'm under the chuppah, clapping happily for newly married Ali & Kevin!

The DIY clients with whom I work often place a high priority on the ceremony itself. As Ali (see left), suggests in a recent thank you note to me, it is literally the threshold into wedded life. She wrote, “We had so many people come to us and tell us how unique our ceremony was. I can’t imagine a better ceremony to enter into marriage with.”

A straight up DIY wedding may mean a couple does the whole ceremony and celebration themselves, potluck style. A more multi-faceted approach is what I’m eluding to here: a couple leads and plans the effort and enlists the help of a few vendors along the way. In that spirit, I offer some fab contacts for DIYers out there – or for anyone planning an event!  Here are a few folks with whom I’ve worked recently . . .

In the realm of photography, there are so many talented people, it is tough to name one! A lady I truly admire though, is Sarah Neyhart. Her goal is “to bring fresh, fun and modern photography to Southern Arizona.” And does she ever! I love her style and presence.

In the sound department, if you want tunes beyond what your ipod offers, PLUS desire a great flow to the whole event, contact Marc at CE Entertainment. His energy, enthusiasm and professionalism as a DJ/MC are tough to beat around Tucson. (He and I have this in common: we each spend around 30-40 hours working on your event before the big day!)

You can find a huge array of decor goodies for your special day at Arizona Party Rental. Ask for Mollee, she’ll be an excellent guide for finding whatever-you-need on your list. And to wrap it up for now, my most fave online repository for DIY ideas lives at Offbeat Bride. Seriously. Where else can you find directions for making your own undies, vintage banner or lightsaber cake knife – all on the same page?!

Have fun!

Kristine

Kindness. Compassion. Service. Love. Khalsa Montessori School students wrote these words – as wishes for our community – during a Healing Trees planting ceremony this week on their Tucson campus. The tree was donated by the Alzheimer’s Foundation in Tucson. Lucky me, I was invited by Annie Loyd of the Fusion Foundation to help enact the ceremony.

Nearly 100 preschoolers and elementary school students participated, so as you might imagine, the energy level was high. So FUN! I loved the bright sense of awareness these children and their teachers brought to the tree planting.

Our Tree Planting Team (L to R): representatives from Alzheimer's Foundation, Khalsa Montessori School, me and Trees for Tucson

We planted a Desert Museum Palo Verde in remembrance of the January 8th Tucson shootings. It now serves as a symbol of healing: to honor community members who perished or were wounded, and the many impacted by the losses.

We placed the tender roots into the ground to represent new beginnings and new awareness. Amazingly, each of the preschoolers gently placed soil back into the hole with their own hands.

We created a unified moment along with many other Healing Trees planting ceremonies in Arizona on February 14th. In that moment we reflected upon how we can choose to bring goodness into the world and celebrate life.

The most wondrous part of the planting involved the watering ritual. Students wrote their wishes and intentions on water soluble paper I provided. They were asked to think of one word and write it in crayon on small strips. They put their wishes into the watering can and Voila! Their colorful wishes floated on the surface, infusing the water for the newly planted tree’s first drink. Nirvair Khalsa, their principal, watered the root ball as the children cheered.

Take a look at this Phoenix News Report about Healing Tree’s statewide effort. There are 1,000 more trees to be planted . . . stay tuned and learn about how you might help!

I hope the tree we planted in Tucson long serves as a symbol for the school community: of service, love, kindness, compassion and healing.

With Joy,

Kristine

P.S. Here is a photo of some of the student’s ‘wishes on the water’:

Ready or not – giving thanks time is here! Pumpkins, squash, turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberries are plentiful at the market. In the United States, our Thanksgiving rituals mostly relate to eating food and the kinship of preparing it. Yet, what else might we do to add sustaining rituals or traditions to the day? How can we make the experience more than just a ‘meet and eat’? What about appreciating abundance, too?

At Sweetgrass, I am continually interested in creating meaningful experiences for my clients. In that spirit, I’m sharing a few ideas for you to adapt as you wish. Hopefully they offer ways to deepen a sense of meaning for you beyond the traditional ‘gobble-gobble’:

• Pen a gratitude letter. Yes, actually take out a pen and paper. Write about a few life events during the past year for which you are thankful. These might be a mixture of bitter and sweet happenings – all of which are necessary parts of who you have become today. Begin a compilation of these to reflect upon each year during Thanksgiving. Families can start a binder or shared journal with drawings or photos included, too!

• Create a ‘Giving Thanks Tree’ in your home. Either find a simple tree branch outside and gussy it up for being vertical indoors, or use an existing houseplant. Make a basket full of small pieces of colorful paper (tied with loops of yarn or ornament hooks). These will ultimately hang in the tree. Encourage guests to write words or notes of gratitude upon the paper and hang them up before they feast.

• Decorate the tablecloth into heirloom status. Think plain cloth with colorful washable markers. Invite kids and grownups alike to write or draw their messages of thanks on the tablecloth and re-use it from year to year. Trace the shapes of leaves from outside or make the classic hand tracing turkeys. (Anyone who has been to a restaurant with a jar of crayons and a paper table covering will know exactly what to do!)

• Eat dinner in silence, then eat dessert with stories and laughter. Eating in silence allows us to slow down and really taste the delicious morsels created by the cooks! Plus, it provides time for reflection. Dessert might then be a big loud time full of laughter and stories about folks’ experience of the silence and abundance of the meal.

• Donate food items or service, instead. Maybe none of our culture’s Thanksgiving mythology appeals to you, or it holds negative connotations somehow. Or perhaps you just want to sit this year out. Take a simple day of rest. Then consider donating food items or direct service to people or families in need over the long weekend.

Maybe these ideas help you breathe some new life into your upcoming holiday, or inspires something entirely different and new. Please comment and add to the list, if so!

In gratefulness,

Kristine

This week, I served a family while caring for their elegant mother in their home, after she peacefully transitioned in her sleep. They had intensively and sensitively cared for her the past few years, so a home funeral was a very natural extension of their efforts. How they entered the work of caring for her body at home with pure stamina, gentle awareness and the tenderest kind of courage simply leaves me speechless.

As I left their home after a nearly twelve hour day of supporting their work, neighbors began visiting. The day had included an array of decisions and tending to legal details, communication, physical care and paperwork. By evening, gifts of food, flowers, wine, poetry and photos came pouring in. I paused for a bit outside, to witness expressions of both laughter and tears. I saw children, young adults and elderly all standing together to support the family. They were helping each other carry what was too big to carry alone in that moment: be it grief, relief or sadness. And all the while, the deceased was naturally lying in grace for people to sit with, too. It was poignant and oh, so very real.

This story from the New York Times yesterday, conveys many of the reasons why I feel the practice of home funerals is re-emerging. Increasingly, people want to hold celebrations for life passages at home: weddings, anniversaries, or even memorials. According to this article, 80% want to carry out the sacred act of dying at home, too.

The scenes I witnessed while serving the family I’ve described here, all illustrate the power of honest and open dialogue about caring for our own at home. What are your wishes about your final days? Do they involve being at home? Are you conveying these ideas to your loved ones? Opening ourselves to this dialogue is one of the kindest gifts we can give each other, in my humble opinion.

With Love,

Kristine

Okay – how fun does this sound? Leaving your wedding by paddling away in a canoe . . . a giant s’more instead of wedding cake? Playing color war? I love how couples are choosing to hold weddings in fresh outdoor places that spell a-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e for them and their guests! I would LOVE to compose and lead ceremonies for couples holding their weddings at summer camps, ranches, horseback pack trips, you name it.

I am ready and game!

Kristine

Yes – really! Here is a recent Arizona Republic article on the topic of home funeral rites, to which I contributed the story about my dear friend, Ruth. (The title might conjure up confusing images of Home Depot, but keep reading!) I appreciate how the writer took careful time to compose this piece, gathering contributions from important leaders in the home funeral movement. Ruth was an educator and woman of strong opinions – especially about natural burial. So, I do believe she would have appreciated such an article, too!

Painting a cardboard cremation container at a Final Passages workshop.

People can participate in many creative ways during family-led funerals. It may surprise you how having a purpose to serve after a death occurs in a family or community may ease uncertainties and awkwardness. For example, people can build and decorate a container for burial or cremation. Young and old folks alike may find it healing to paint designs and express their feelings. People may also help with the filing of paperwork, decorating a room for the deceased to ‘lie-in-grace’, or cooking meals during the vigil.

May was a month full of meaningful work for me, preparing weddings and memorials. So, I meant to get this article posted sooner! And yet, the timing now is perfect because I had a home funeral consultation with a family earlier this week. They had complete clarity around caring for their elderly Mother at home during the continuum of her daily life now, throughout and after her passing. Because they birthed all three of their kids at home with birth midwives, they see death at home and my support services as a death midwife as a natural part of life, too. Simply and naturally beautiful.

The process of honoring Ruth’s wishes for natural care, as told in the Arizona Republic article, inspired me to add this work to my client services at Sweetgrass Ceremonies. I couldn’t be more thankful to her for the life-affirming journey I am on now. In April, I received certification as a Death Midwife from Jerrigrace Lyons of Final Passages.  I am humbled by and grateful for the opportunity to serve families in this way.

Much love,

Kristine

As a Life Cycle Celebrant, I serve people at all stages of life’s milestones: new life, love and loss. I recently completed in-depth training about the loss end of the spectrum – to help families care for their own deceased at home. Today I found relevant articles that revealed two themes underpinning why I do this work: choices and connection for bereaved families.

One tells of the burgeoning home funeral trend, where we are returning to practices we know from our ancestors. The sobering photo in the article shows an elderly rancher looking at his coffin, handmade by his sons. It is a still shot from the film “A Family Undertaking“, which offers glimpses into contemporary family-led funerals. The other article tells how families are decreasing their funeral or memorial spending out of necessity during this slow economy. According to the independent funeral homes interviewed, families are more frequently opting out of the costliest line items and simplifying by choosing direct cremation.

Is the slow economy the only driver, I wonder? Or is this trend away from heavy spending on energy and material intensive products (steel caskets, concrete vaults and embalming) really a broader indicator? Is it a wake up call for not only Baby Boomers – yet all of us – to notice how we may return to simpler, less costly choices at the end of the road? Choices that involve deep connections through family care, support from a home funeral guide and perhaps even natural burial?

An interesting convergence of themes I think, these choices and connections for grieving families. Is a home funeral right for everyone? Well, no. Yet, with healthy planning and families holding an intention for death care at home, the end of the road may potentially become more emotionally healing and less costly in many ways.

With love,

Kristine

Looking for an earth-friendly place to hold a special event or wedding in the Tucson area? Consider Agua Linda Farm in Amado, just south of Tucson. Here are a few reasons why I believe it is such a lovely venue:

• Stunning beauty: Vistas from the outdoor event spaces look toward the lush Santa Cruz River corridor and the scenic Santa Rita Mountains. The rustic elegance of the 1940’s Joesler ranch home is exquisite.
• Natural: The farm is entirely organic. You and your guests may enjoy delectable ‘field to table‘ produce and meat at your reception or celebration.
• Relaxed feel: The owners, Laurel and Stewart Loew, are so down-to-earth, approachable and kind you will feel right at home within seconds.
• Cool shade: Big luxurious groves of mesquites and cottonwoods naturally cool the event spaces.

Outdoor dining at Agua Linda Farm

I especially love how Laurel and Stewart recognize that every event – a birthday, anniversary, wedding or simple family gathering – is totally unique and personal. They encourage creative personal expressions. (Much the way I view ceremonies for my clients at Sweetgrass!)

Plus, you can rent the facility at a reasonable cost, for the entire day. You can take your sweet time and enjoy the day, rather than rushing around to fit the time demands of a venue booked with back-to-back events.

You can read Laurel and Stewart’s website for more fun reasons to consider visiting and booking Agua Linda for an upcoming event. One reason I love: having sunflower or hollyhock seeds from the farm as favors for your guests!

Meanwhile, I am finishing my fresh salad of spring greens from the farm, with a squeeze of lime juice and drizzled olive oil. Thank you, Laurel and Stewart!

Kristine

Greenerprinter not only produces fabulous high quality products, it is an environmentally responsible company to boot. They offer great customer service and beautiful recycled papers, plus print with soy-based inks. (They printed my business cards and now I am a complete fan!)

If you are planning a wedding ceremony and want a ‘lighter footprint’ on the earth, check out greenerprinter’s new services for wedding items. They have a helpful design center where you can, for instance, create your own ’save the date’ cards or wedding invites.

Kristine