And yet, as I said those words, I wondered if we are emerging with new practices that stretch beyond ‘non-traditional’. When I say ‘we’ I mean: couples who want their ceremony to reflect their one-of-a-kind beliefs and a Celebrant like myself who helps guide them. Simply put: We are making ceremonies REAL. (Most definitely not rote and one size fits all!)

This story from CNN about interfaith and multicultural weddings supports this idea. I think this passage speaks to why:

Unlike prior generations, contemporary couples aren’t afraid to tinker with the order of a ceremony or the wedding traditions that have, in the past, seemed intractable. Also, many contemporary couples are older when they marry, so they’ve had more time to travel, work and become more educated.

These are the couples with whom I love to work: they are mature, they’ve traveled and they know themselves well. Whether or not two people come from different ethnic traditions, based upon various life experiences, they may hold vastly different beliefs. Judaism and Hinduism, for example. In these situations, another passage from the CNN article includes helpful ideas from Susanna Macomb, a widely known Officiant and Author:

Finding commonality between traditions can make a ceremony meaningful, but make sure to have someone explain the symbolism to the wedding guests, or most will be in the dark, says Macomb. Also, she advises intercultural weddings can seem more cohesive if an officiant and readers incorporate some native languages into the ceremony as a nod to family members who have traveled from another part of the world.

As a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant® who leads weddings, this is one of the things I do best: finding commonality between traditions – beliefs – values to make a ceremony meaningful. In our training as Celebrants, we delve deeply into symbolism. We consider and enact ways to bring universal explanation into the script, so guests may resonate with the message delivered. This is especially helpful during multicultural ceremonies, where guests may be unfamiliar with certain elements!

Enjoy the journey, if you are planning a multicultural or interfaith wedding! Feel free to leave comments or questions, too . . .

Kristine

During my ceremony services, I find myself in a wide range of settings: from hike-in weddings atop Mount Lemmon to intimate home garden weddings to lavish all-out parties with 200 guests at high-profile venues. I enjoy every kind, because I get to see my clients manifest their own visions for their celebration.

I'm under the chuppah, clapping happily for newly married Ali & Kevin!

The DIY clients with whom I work often place a high priority on the ceremony itself. As Ali (see left), suggests in a recent thank you note to me, it is literally the threshold into wedded life. She wrote, “We had so many people come to us and tell us how unique our ceremony was. I can’t imagine a better ceremony to enter into marriage with.”

A straight up DIY wedding may mean a couple does the whole ceremony and celebration themselves, potluck style. A more multi-faceted approach is what I’m eluding to here: a couple leads and plans the effort and enlists the help of a few vendors along the way. In that spirit, I offer some fab contacts for DIYers out there – or for anyone planning an event!  Here are a few folks with whom I’ve worked recently . . .

In the realm of photography, there are so many talented people, it is tough to name one! A lady I truly admire though, is Sarah Neyhart. Her goal is “to bring fresh, fun and modern photography to Southern Arizona.” And does she ever! I love her style and presence.

In the sound department, if you want tunes beyond what your ipod offers, PLUS desire a great flow to the whole event, contact Marc at CE Entertainment. His energy, enthusiasm and professionalism as a DJ/MC are tough to beat around Tucson. (He and I have this in common: we each spend around 30-40 hours working on your event before the big day!)

You can find a huge array of decor goodies for your special day at Arizona Party Rental. Ask for Mollee, she’ll be an excellent guide for finding whatever-you-need on your list. And to wrap it up for now, my most fave online repository for DIY ideas lives at Offbeat Bride. Seriously. Where else can you find directions for making your own undies, vintage banner or lightsaber cake knife – all on the same page?!

Have fun!

Kristine

Me with Carolyn & John - speaking to their witnesses Anne and Henry

One story I’d like to share in particular is that of John and Carolyn. I composed and led their wedding for them in late December 2010. They are an amazingly inspiring couple, for more reasons than I can do justice to here.

I will relay their story in a few ‘chapters’ on my blog, because not only did I lead their Tucson elopement ceremony, they will fly me to their big family celebration and ceremony in Iowa this April! What an honor to lead another wedding for them, with their sons and more family and friends present.

Back to the Tucson story: John called me on Christmas Eve morning to see if I would work with them – and ahem – quickly. My reply was, “of course!” (Fun note: John spotted my ad in Tucson Bride & Groom Magazine while he waited for Carolyn to try on dresses.) We met Sunday, after Christmas. Later that evening, they emailed me responses to a few short questions, in order to co-create their vows and ring exchange. I drafted their personalized ceremony early Monday morning. They both expressed tears of joy upon reading it. I was thrilled when their text messages said “WE LOVE IT!”. Later that afternoon, we had their simple and yet, oh so poignant wedding.

So here is a wee peek into the possible joys of eloping in Southern Arizona.We have much to offer here: casual atmosphere in the Old Pueblo, stunning scenery of the Sonoran Desert, and gentle weather to boot.

If you are thinking about eloping – in two days or two weeks – give me a call to explore possibilities in Southern Arizona!

Warmly,

Kristine

As a composer and leader of ceremonies, I am ‘enrolled’ as a WUW wish granter. I could possibly serve as a couple’s officiant when and if wish recipients exist in Tucson. I also donated a Premium Sweetgrass Wedding Package to Wish Upon a Wedding’s Blissful Wishes 2010 Auction. The auction was a huge success and just closed out last week.

Quite happily, a couple in Tucson won the package I donated! The Bride’s mother made the donation to WUW as a gift to her daughter and future son-in-law. (How great is that?!) Now we will begin co-creating their April 2011 wedding ceremony here in Tucson, to be held at the beautiful Stillwell House. I am looking forward to sharing pieces of their story with you as it unfolds! In the Bride’s words: “We are so excited to work with you, Kristine. After all, the ceremony is the most important part of the day!”

And I say, feelings mutual. I couldn’t agree with her more.

In gratitude,

Kristine

Kimberly & Josh - so in love!

For this post, words seem a little feeble! Yet I’ll try to explain, because I experience a kind of shimmering realm around weddings. It exists beyond all the flowers, favors or Kahlua-fudge frosting. Here are my three big reasons why, as a Life Cycle Celebrant, I just dig composing and leading weddings for couples in love.

See what you think:

1. Witnessing ‘the look’, like Kim and Josh have here. I just married these two creative and free-spirited people this month. See how they shimmer? ;-D As their wedding officiant, I stood between them while they spoke their vows to each other. I loved writing their vows in their own words and then being a part of this endearing and tender moment in their lives.

2. Feeling the uplifting experience of the whole group: the couple, wedding party and their guests. I believe weddings offer us a space and time for taking a collective pause: to witness and be with love. People hold hands, well up with tears, nod their heads or chuckle with a certain kind of knowing. We affirm, renew or just appreciate our love for the bride and groom, love for our own beloved, or companionship with our fur kids. Guests often say to me after a ceremony, “I had no idea a wedding could be so real, so funny, and feel like I was a part of it happening, too!”

3. Seeing the enduring appreciation two people share for each other, despite differences and difficult times. You might agree we live in a quick-fix culture. People easily move on to the ‘next best thing’. Entering marriage is antithetical to that notion. The couples I serve know themselves well and enter marriage with long term horizons and generous doses of patience. So fabulous! My wedding clients are often mature couples who have done their share of living. Either they are wise old souls in young bodies or they are entering marriage later in life. They choose to truly walk beside each other, despite the tough stuff or distractions. And this loops back to ‘that look’ as I mentioned above: one of enduring appreciation and love.

Yep, at Sweetgrass I help people acknowledge all of their life milestones with ceremony: new life, love and loss. You’ll see me posting about a range of topics on this blog as a result. Today, I just felt like raving about weddings for a few minutes. Because when I work with couples to create and lead a wedding that perfectly suits them, I LOVE IT! (And gratefully, they tell me they do, too.)

With Love,

Kristine

How fun for a couple or family to create one for a shared event. As a Life Cycle Celebrant, (and a visual person!), I would love seeing a board like this during client consultations. It would certainly help convey the feelings and tone clients desire for their event, which would help me personalize their ceremony that much more.

I’m curious, have you ever used this technique while planning an event – wedding or otherwise?

Kristine

I am ready and game!

Kristine

All four individuals have had prior marriages. One bride in particular said when she planned her first wedding, she didn’t focus on the ceremony. She regrets it. She realizes she was too young and obsessed with other details anyway (read: big hair, big dress and so on.)

Today there is an opportunity to dramatically change that approach. To her, the ceremony is the most important piece now. (I am cheering when she says this, because that is music to my Celebrant ears!) Together, we will craft a heartfelt and original wedding. A lively celebration of not only themselves, yet their adult children and surrounding communities, too. A chance to recognize how intertwined their lives are, plus how much they appreciate each other.

The nearly 80 year young bride shared this little tidbit with me, that I want to pass along:

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow a mystery.

Today is a gift.

So, she said, “don’t wait, love now! Act on the gift that is today!”

Happily humbled by this work,

Kristine

A recent NPR story touches on this question. The answer is: more and more folks are married by someone familiar to them. Really familiar! As in friends or family members.  Often, this opens the door to bringing two different traditions together, without encountering ‘clergy complications’. Says Melissa Evans, a wedding planner quoted in the story, “One partner doesn’t necessarily have to give up their religion, their faith, their history,” she says. “They can tie it all together.”

With a Life Cycle Celebrant like me composing and leading the ceremony, the same needs for ‘tying it all together’ will be met and exceeded. Individuals from interfaith traditions – or conversely – a complete lack of religious or cultural conditions, may choose to work with me as their wedding officiant. I spend a great deal of time and energy getting to know my clients and truly hearing their stories, listening to their beliefs and understanding their values. Through the interview process, we develop trust and an emergent friendship.

In a way I find the timing of this NPR story ironic. Just in the past two weeks, I’ve assisted three long-distance friends who are performing weddings for friends. I lend them the tools I have in my Celebrant treasure chest for crafting completely original, joyful and meaningful ceremonies. They say they would be lost without the help. So far, I’ve heard effusively happy comments from their experiences. Plus, I am always willing to work with couples from afar, to compose their wedding ceremony script. Then, they can choose someone dear to them for leading the ceremony in person.

This summer, I am also working on a ceremony for two dear friends’ August wedding. I’ve known the groom for 20+ years and met his lovely bride-to-be just a couple of years ago. We are totally enjoying ourselves while co-creating their ceremony. Our experience is a testament to how the sense of authenticity, love and humor that arises from working together out of a place of mutual endearment will surpass any wedding service a justice of the peace or unfamiliar clergy member could ever offer.

Yes, marriage is often viewed as an institution with assigned religious rites. Yet, I see it as immensely personal, too. And so, being able to choose who marries you with the greatest depth of meaning and personal relevance during the ceremony is really the heart of the matter, yes?

With love,

Kristine

I am not and never will be a robotic officiant.

There, got that out. I need to add though, how I LOVE the way this lovely couple chose to make their ceremony such a unique reflection of themselves. Since the robotics industry brought them together, I think the scenario is brilliantly clever and fun.

;-*D

Kristine