At the very core of grieving is the act of letting go.

It may be one of the biggest challenges we have. I am convinced that ritual and ceremony help us face this bittersweet challenge. To convey this idea here, I may reflect upon relevant stories from around the world. When clients permit me, I will share their powerful stories. Today, I will share a very personal story with you.

The morning of September 16th, my Tiny Girl died. She was a long-lived greyhound at 12+ years old. It is unsurprising that when I wrote my first blog entry, I mentioned her and posted our picture together. She and I ‘were a team’ as one friend often says. We met each new day together for the past 10+ years. She facilitated countless life learnings for me. She licked tears off of my face when I cried, purred like a cat when we cuddled, shared my yoga mat with me and made me guffaw with her goofy games. She holds a very tender place in my heart as a dear friend. Letting her go seemed impossible.

This is tough to write, yet vital for me to share with you. What we did after her death has helped me grieve in a healthy way and begin letting go.

We kept her body at home for the afternoon. I surrounded her with bunches of dried sage and other native plants, candles, and incense. Friends (she had a big fan club!) came to visit and say good-bye. They noticed how peaceful she looked after seeing her during recent physical struggles. My partner Brian and a close friend dug her grave in our yard. At sunset, Brian played the cello as I sat with Tiny’s body to let the day sink in a bit. I felt exhausted. Friends came over for a humble burial ceremony. We blessed Tiny’s grave in a way only she would appreciate and shared some stories about her life. I cried big bitter tears. And then, together, we covered her shell with fresh earth and flowers.

Taking these steps helped me deeply in the process of letting her go. I created a remembrance upon her grave, with a candle that remained lit for five days and nights after her burial. Whenever I miss her, I go sit there in thanks for her presence in my life and for the blessings of good friends who help me along this journey. Here is a glimpse of Tiny’s grave the morning after her burial:

I hope this story inspires you. Our animal companions are such dear friends, yes? After they die, giving thoughtful time and loving energy to our grieving processes for them is extremely important. Ultimately, it will help us open up to the ache of losing them and then summon the courage to let them go.

In love,

Kristine

Rarely does a story capture such a wide range of emotions.

A seven year old boy named Asa died last Friday in New York, after a car accident. His parents departed from the norm, and wed at his funeral. During Asa’s life, he asked many times for them to make their union official with marriage. They told him they would, yet felt it was “superficial and not necessary”. Somehow, they were moved to become married in Asa’s honor, after his death.

At first, this feels a little shocking to read and hear. Yet I read the full article and watched the video a couple of times. I watched the healing swells of grief and love in peoples’ stories, tears, music and laughter. I sent the family my wishes for healthy grieving and peace in their hearts. Asa shines so brightly in the photos, it seems his all too brief presence will touch countless lives.

For me, this story vividly conveys the cathartic power of personalized ceremony.  Plus, the video illustrates how ceremony may pull community members together, as they collectively bear witness to living, loving and dying. Here is the CNN clip: NY Parent\’s honor son\’s wish

If you take a look at this, I am curious to hear your thoughts.

In love,

Kristine

A new day. A new month. A new blog.

This morning I turned the page to September in my old-timey wall hanging calendar. (Yes, I use the calendar app on my iphone, yet I still love my one on the wall, too!) It features the artwork of Michael Chiago, Sr., a Tohono O’Odham artist. His inviting watercolor painting shows O’Odham women collecting ripe priclkly pear fruits. Then I noticed how the new moon on September 18th is the ‘Dry Grass Moon’. Their traditional calendar, like so many cultures, follows the cycles of the natural world.

It got me thinking about how we mark time today. And naturally, I thought of Sweetgrass Ceremonies. I founded it to help people pause and celebrate their life milestones. I’m here to be a gentle guide while co-designing ceremonies for the full spectrum of life events. As I work, I will pay close attention to the cycles of the natural world. They keep me grounded, humbled, awake and alive while I serve others.

This is my first blog entry. I feel like this virtual space is a little table in the corner of a bustling cafe -  where I leave notes for others to find – to be curious about, find inspiration in, cry or laugh at. Who knows? For now, I like the mystery of it. Kind of like turning a new page on your calendar, feeling not entirely sure what the month ahead holds. One thing for sure though: there will be a new moon.

Happy September to you,

Kristine

P.S. Here is a photo of me (taken by Lindsay A. Miller), so you can put a ‘face with a voice’. I’m with my greyhound friend named Tiny. We’ve experienced ten years of life together. She is why I provide services for people and their animal companions at Sweetgrass.